A Sad Day

As I sit here writing this post, I feel sad.  And angry. And confused.  But mostly sad.  The events that happened on Monday at the Boston Marathon have rocked me to the core.  I cannot seem to tear myself away from the television or the computer and I don't really know why.  I didn't have a friend or relative up there participating; futhermore, I didn't even know anyone running the marathon.  Maybe it's because I've had friends run that marathon in the past or I'm searching for answers to my 1,000 questions or I feel like I need to memorize the faces of those that were injured, that helped, that died...so that I won't forget them or forget what happened.  Or maybe, it's because I am the wife of a triathlete and this sort of thing could have happened to my husband...to me...to our families.  I am certainly not trying to make this awful tragedy about me...it's definitely not. Not even close.  I guess it's a combination of being a mom and the "what if" factor that keeps circling around in the mind. 

I can't count the number of times my husband has participated in triathlons, half-marathons and 5/10K races.  When he races, I go.  Our child goes.  Our parents, friends and other relatives...they go.  We KNOW, firsthand, how hard he works and trains to get to race day.  To compete.  And, we want to be there to acknowledge his hard work, his accomplishments, his finish.  We want to acknowledge the same things for the other competitors...people we don't even know.  Most we will never see again.  It's almost like you're family. You get it and the sacrifices that are made on both ends of the spectrum.  Not once, in all of Reed's years of competing, have I ever hesitated about going to cheer him on.  The horror of Monday is something that I never even considered happening at one of these events. Never. But now, it will always be in the back of my mind.  That makes me angry.  That makes me sad.  It won't stop me, though...not from going, not from supporting and certainly not from cheering and screaming like a crazy person when he and others cross that finish line.  It won't stop others either. 

Those athletes, their families, their friends and their spectators are so much more than the ugly, terrible acts that were committed.  They're champions, heroes, hard workers and fighters.  They'll continue competing and we'll continue watching and supporting and cheering. That makes me smile.